Grandpa: Why don't you carry this?
Grandma: I don't have enough arms.
Grandpa: You have enough mouth.

God your ornery today. You keep it up I'm going to give you a jab in the pooper.

Grandma: never a dull moment
Grandpa: dull movement?

I gotta go to the bathroom. *Turns to grandma* Want to come with me and hold the hose?

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You think she has good taste!? Shes had the same haircut for 50 years!!

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If your grandma died on Thursday I'm going on Friday night so you better hold her over till Monday

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